Alright welcome to the new edition of the weekly wrap up for the westwood high hardos…you’re probably sitting there wondering why on earth Fartman gave up his duty he PLEDGED to do weekly. Yeah whatever Bart good job following through. The truth is Bart thought his team was actually good, he believed that he would be able to bang his chest every every week because somehow overnight he acquired fantasy foresight and competence….I know, all very laughable to say the least. Well Bart asked me to do the weekly reviews so now its going to be me from here on out….if you wanna take a stab at the reviews then have at it too, and if you don’t like it Bart is taking all complaints. All grievances go right to the commissioners desk. Now lets get to it.
Have Percy! Bryan 3-3-0 8th vs Power Ranking 10 Nick 3-3-0 7th
gotta start Nick’s review with this
ELI FUCKING MANNING
Nick what are you doing man, talk about the definition of getting “TOO CUTE” Look I don’t mean to throw some Shade kid because ive been there, many of us have (mainly Pickles) but dude when you said Asiata was getting better with Bridgewater coming back I didnt think you believed it!! Thought that was some pump and dump Tito trade noise…apparently not, Asiata is Tito’s boy. Now Bart lost this week and no surprise to anyone not named Bart. You almost had Tito down the stretch but the fantasy gods interveined and said enough of your kicker getting 20+ points. The real question is what are you going to sacrifice to the gods this week? they fucking hate you man, more than Vlad hates Ruchie……you had first down on the goaline and Harbaugh takes out Frank Gore and puts in carlos Hyde for three straight runs. Seriously what did you do to them….I think your penance should have something to do with hope solos asshole…I know how fond of it you were so maybe you gotta tongue punch that fart box or something.
one more oldie but goodie for TITO…it pretty much sums up your Sunday morning
Legion of Skittles 88.64 vs Amaslamma ding dong 130.78
C Baker Brendan
2-4-0 | 9th 5-1-0 | 1st
Amaru just keeps on rolling and no one can figure it out. Somehow he just finds these fantasy studs who should be way past there prime yet somehow they perform. Ahmad Bradshaw being the biggest example….Seriously amaru whats the trick? Its not your fantasy prowess because you received the John Hanlon award this year solely because of your draft, I mean I know some of it is working out but we cant forget you drafted the drool king of football wes welker…Anyway i’m gonna theorize that you and devin got a little too wild one night and maybe you guys tried something new and maybe she shoved a rabbits foot up your ass and its still there, cant find any other explanation for this fuckery…you should not be enjoying this success. Well your boy foster finally came through for you and Peyton is Peyton. Gotta say we all mocked you when you took him at 11 but hey even the blind squirrel finds a nut. Good work Amaru. Baker are you still apart of this league? haven’t hard from you in the text in like 3 weeks? I guess now that you’re living with Kmo hes got you drinking the no group text Koolaide. Well you were off to a strong start but you’ve fizzled as of late, maybe you should wear your gostkowski jersey for good luck…you gotta get yourself out of the rut. What are you doing with Larry in your starting lineup…can you say two pump chump! get that scrub out of there and start an actual tight end that has potential to be starting caliber. You left too many plays out there, you gotta be better…
Amaru doing Amaru things
Murray Up Offense Russ 3-3-0 | 3rd 123.90 vs HoldMuhJohnsons Thomas 158.22 6th
Ok on to Russ the current champ, a quiet season so far from him, a major trade right off the bat to get his team back on track, I think it worked but time will tell. The thing is Russ isn’t afraid to make big moves that help his team. If he keeps it up he could be back in the playoffs this year, point is hes’s showing owners like Ruchie and Kevin what is necessary to avoid spending your hardo football career in the cellar like a inbred redheaded stepchild….(ex. John Ritchie)
Russ has showed some very good ability to rally here, lets see if he maintains it. Now I have the difficult job of reviewing Tommy Pickles after a tough win. I’m having a hard time describing this because naturally I hold more disdain, loathing, detestation for Pickle’s team more than anyone else. So yeah whatever you won, you got lucky with that sanu move so stop acting like a guru for it. Hes been one of the top 3 most targeted WRs in the nfl since week 1 and AJ green was out so yeah even the blind squirrel finds a nut. Thats about as good as it gets for you ya pickle sniffer….let me conclude by quoting the “playa haters ball” ………..Meeks
Ps. Dont send me anymore garbage decker for matt ryan trades….im in your head CHIEF NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND
YOUR BRAIN IS MY PUPPET
Ray Finkle Jake 3-3-0 | 5th 121.36 VS 120.72 The Krusty Crabtree Kevin 1-5-0 | 10th
Kevin is having a down year in fantasy to say the least, your team sucks dude. Come on I know Purple Jesus went down and that will forever be the asterisk on this year’s champion in your mind but dude you gotta be proactive…..Adrian got into hot water and you just stood there like nahhh ill be fine, just a game or whatever….well Kevin this is fantasy football and if you don’t cover your bases someone else will kid. Next thing you know Purple Jesus is arrested and suspended and you’re sitting with your team like yeah maybe shoulda scooped Asiata and Mckinnon.
..
Well you almost pulled off the win last minute kevin but it didn’t happen, the krusty krabtree couldn’t eek out on more catch for ya….win some ya lose some kev…but next time spend your budget on Brenden oliver not Andre williams….thought you woulda known better with those BC runningbacks. Now on to Finkle, I’m predicting serious changes for Finkle int he future…otherwise hes dead in the water. Eddie lacy hasn’t been the guy he hoped he would be and hes barely getting by at the moment. Finkle its time for you to start wheeling and Dealing, talking turkey and writing check snapping necks. You got the firepower, just get out there and shake it up a bit…we need some trades int hsi league…Amaru that is not the green light to start harassing everyone again, your still under investigation for past crimes. Dont catch yourself saying its too soon to talk turkey Mahoney.
Le Gerthy Sushi Roll john 4-2-0 | 2nd 124.8 VS. 114.90 Luck My Bush ryan 3-3-0 | 4th
Now this was a big match up for both teams here, I needed to get everyone off my back about my previous week 4 collapse…guess what you gay boys im here to stay my sushi roll is for real….and now I’ve got my boy Brady on board and between him and Matt ryan one of those stiffs will get it done just trust. Things are looking good for my team just gotta stay clear of the injury bug 
Now we get the sushi man….what happened big cat? I heard your boy luck was gonna go off? and reggie wayne too? what happened with all that? Best part is Victor Cruz going down in the fashion that he did….I told you that would happen Ruchie, I told you the writing would be on the wall and you would be primed to beat me but somehow the BYE WEEK would be back. Guess what it happened! victor Cruz finally playing well and goes against one of the worse fantasy defenses against WRs int he league and what happens?! Cruz lays an egg and is out for the season hahahahahah Ruchie I knew you’d cone back to earth man….cant escape the the curse of the BYE WEEK….now get the fuck out of here Ruchie and go back in the basement where you belong.
Now here’s my Power Rankings for this week….again opinions and complaints go to Fartman, if you cant get a hold of him right a note on a blank piece of paper, fold it up, turn around, bend over and shove it up your ass. it will be answered promptly.
1. Amaru
2. Hanlon
3. Russ
4. Baker
5.Finkle
6. Ruchie
7.Tito
8. Meeks
9.Fartman
10. Kevin
One more feature…were gonna call it Gerth’s Goober of the week. It’s the biggest shoot yourself in the foot move from the past week…This week was tough but I had to go with Nick Sestito…..ELI FUCKING MANNING, you sir got too cute. I will say that the rest of the league was tied for second because you let me get BRENDEN OLIVER!!! what is wrong with you people letting me get him. seriosuly
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